Head above the water

There are days when I feel like I can barely keep my head above the water. I feel like I'm stuck in a doggie-paddle headed nowhere. It's on days like this that I feel so totally overwhelmed. I find myself wishing for extra time to do all of the things that need to be done. However, when I do get those days, (like snow days - yes, I do teach in a public school), I don't even know where to begin. Oh, sure, I can picture everything that I could accomplish, if given a few extra hours. Then, when those precious hours arrive, I want to do anything but the things that should be done. I hope I'm not alone in this.

I try not to feel this way too often, but it seems to sneak up on me when I least expect it. I do plan for those snow days - moments of time when not too much is required of me. I just wish there would be actual snow on the snow days. It would be easier to excuse my lack of initiative. I would just get out and play in the snow. Everyone can forgive you for living in a snow moment.

It seems that my life gets taken over by the stuff - clutter, more papershuffling at school, the drudgery of daily life. I want to be able to be one of those people that can be spontaneous, yet organized, creative yet not chaotic. I guess I should just start with baby steps and take just one task at a time. That might help. The baby steps for me, though don't always matter to those around me. Sure, they want things neat and tidy, but the family could care less about an organized linen closet or a neat silverware drawer. I guess I need small places to help me get to the bigger places. If I could just keep those small places under control, maybe the larger ones would begin to make more sense. I just need to be able to be consistent and content with the things that I have. I guess the apostle Paul had it right with being content whatever the circumstances. I still have much to learn about contentedness.

I hope that my body can do what my mind thinks it can. If not, I'll be in deep trouble. but then again, I do have the Source to lean on (Phil. 4:13). Thankfully, He doesn't get tired or worn-out. I can't wait to be swimming freely and not just keeping my head above the water. But somedays, it just about the continual motion and not stopping. You are still surviving, even if it's just your head above the water.